My Heart Only Beats For You
by mileyworld
Summary: What you think you should do and what your heart thinks you should do don't always agree? So what do you choose? And what happens when you choose the wrong decision? Niley oneshot : R&R?


**Bleugh. So this is realllly pointless but I was in the mood to write and this is what I came up with. Reviews please? **

As the temperature suddenly dropped 100 degrees I buried my hands deeply into my jacket pockets and thrusted my head down. My pace began to quicken as I made my way through the hyped up crowd. I had to get out of here. My heart was beating faster and faster, the blood was pounding loudly in my ears, the tears along with the cool air nipped at my eyes, but I kept my head down and focused on escaping this place, escaping reality. It was too much to handle and being in a crowded place added to the stress.

I heard his voice, his sweet, sweet melodic voice yelling my name. It echoed throughout the crowd, yet I kept my head down and focused on my way out. He was getting closer as he ran after me, frightened of losing everything. In all honestly I couldn't bear to lose everything either, but I couldn't bear to have my heart shattered into a million pieces as well. It had only recently been repaired and was still in a fragile state of mind. I had to protect it, I had to protect me.

This time of year was never easy for us and it seemed that it got harder each time. No matter how we tried to avoid it, we always ended up in this situation: heartbroken at Christmas. This year our decision was to not even contact each other. Well to be truthful it was my decision, which is why we are probably in this position.

The snow storm grew fiercer. I broke into a small run. My hood slipped down and tiny snowflakes landed upon my brunette curls. They became uncontrollable as tears fell, one by one.

"Miley," he yelled, his voice was hoarse from the cold. I turned the corner into a deserted white street, my pace quickening. And then I stopped. A loud gasp escaped my lips and the tears fell hard. I dropped to the ground as he hurried over to me, pulling me close, protecting me from any harm. He brought his face close towards mine, his warm breath against my cold skin comforted me and his nose gently rubbed my pale, tear stained cheek. He left his head resting on mine and I slid my blue orbs shut. I focused closely on trying to listen to my heart, but for once it wasn't beating loud enough to hear. But my mind was sending me mental images of Nick, beautiful images of him. My heart was melting and my mind was taking over. I had to go with my gut instinct – there was one slight problem, my instinct wasn't even sure what to do!

"We'll be ok," he said, trying to reassure me but it wasn't working. I knew we wouldn't, we never were! And no matter how many times he tried to promise me it'll never happen again, I knew I couldn't believe him. It was getting hard to believe him with anything he says these days, because I just didn't have faith in us and it was killing me. I needed the faith and the trust, it was what I held onto; but now it was gone and I didn't know for how long.

"But we wont, we never are." I whispered as the snow fell all around us.

"But we'll make it work, I promise." And there was the promise. It was just another promise I couldn't hold on to, no matter how hard I tried. I felt like we were slipping, drifting into different universes. Everything was holding us back, we couldn't be _Niley_. Everyone was expecting something different from us; it was difficult keeping private lives private. I couldn't do this anymore, but I couldn't be without him either.

I had to stop being selfish. I had to think about others. Sure this was going to hurt, for both of us, but maybe in the long term it would be best? Out of this love would be a lesson well learnt, and who knows maybe in the future we could have a chance. When we're both less busy and when we are mature enough to handle a steady relationship. Being a teenager and in love was difficult and stressful.

"And you say that every time, yet we always seem to have those small stupid arguments and Nick I'm sick and tired of fighting with you over small stuff, I don't want to lose the relationship we have, and I'm scared that if we continue fighting then we will.'

"What are you saying?" He sounded lost and broken and it was my entire fault.

"I'm sorry," I pulled away, unable to look or even touch him right now. I pushed myself up from the ground and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Miley don't do this, please. I love you."

I turned to face him, my face along with his dotted with heartbroken tears. "I love you too and I always will, and I promise I will wait for you because you are my Prince Charming but right now I can't handle this, it's too much for me. It's so painful and so scary not knowing if we'll be ok or not. I can't sleep at nights, I toss and turn panicking about how we'll be tomorrow and I have to let my heart rest for a while. But I'll be back for you, don't forget me." And I turned away, leaving Nick and my heart behind.

"Miley," he called, but I was too long gone.

--

I lay in bed with a rollercoaster of emotions. I screamed in agony for the pain he caused me; I laughed for all the memories we had shared; I cried for the pain that I had caused him to suffer and then I felt nothing. I drained myself from everything and now life itself suddenly had no meaning. The old Miley Ray had now been replaced by a nihilistic Miley; who refused to speak, eat or talk. I stayed in my room all day and all night and tried to think of ways as to why I was even put on this earth. Days had gone by and I wasn't even aware if he had contacted me. My phone lay on my bedside table off, my laptop hiding in the depths of my closet. I didn't talk to my parents or my best friends and I was scaring them all; yet I didn't notice anything unusual. This is what the real Miley was like without love and a full heart: she was fragile and broken, so lonely and confused about her place within society. I wanted to believe that he was fine and he had moved on. I tried to convince herself that he was surviving without her, but it was killing me inside because I knew he was slowly killing himself. How was this helping anyone? But I couldn't go back on her word. I couldn't go back to him because I would be walking right into his trap again. Eventually I would be fine, but until that day came I would have to just conquer this pain.

--

Two months had gone by and I was visually and emotionally unrecognisable. I was barely eating and my clothes hung over my frail body. I didn't bother to try and maintain my physical appearance; I just couldn't care what I looked like. I wore my emotions instead of the makeup; I allowed the world to see exactly how I was feeling. I never dressed up, never did my hair nice: I just didn't try to make myself feel good because even if I looked good, it certainly didn't make me feel good. The circles under my eyes grew darker and darker each morning as I awoke from only an hour's sleep. The nights were the worst. I would lay in the dark and the memories would come flooding back to me. I would scream and scream in agonising pain, whilst my mum held me tight. She'd rock me back and forth like she did when I was a little girl trying to get the nightmares away, except it didn't work. Nothing worked; the cuddles, the lullabies, the kisses, the 'everything will be ok', nothing.

February 12th.

The storm was wild. The lighting lit up my dark room every few minutes whilst the thunder roared loudly afterwards. To me it was oddly comforting. I pulled the covers up to my chin and rolled onto my side. Another strike of lighting lit up my room, followed by thunder and then a knock at the balcony door? I bolted upright, unsure if I had misheard. There was another sharp rasp and I slowly made my way to the door. My shaking head reached for the knob and slowly turned it.

Standing out in the rain was my Prince Charming.

I was unsure how to react. I stood watching him as the rain fell onto him. His curls fell into his eyes and he stood with his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans. His white top under his plaid shirt clung tightly to his soaked, toned body and tears ran alongside raindrops down his broken, angelic face.

"You never answered my calls, texts or emails." He yelled loudly as the storm became suddenly louder.

I didn't even know how to comprehend that. I was still in shock that he was standing here. After two months he had sure changed. His face wore a haunting, gaunt look upon it; his chocolate brown orbs had lost their sparkle: I had truly broken him.

"You could have called!"

"I'm sorry."

He just shook his head, "Typical Miley, thinking about herself first. It was killing me when you weren't contacting me, what about keeping our friendship? I thought that meant something to you, I thought I meant something to you?"

"You do, you do I just –"

"You just what? Had other things to do? Of course. I always came second for you and you were always my number one, but I never mentioned it because I didn't want to lose you. I knew that if I did it would end up in an argument. I thought you loved me. But I guess you fooled me."

"Shut up!" I screamed. "Just shut up! You have no right saying that, I did love you. I loved you so much that it hurt. I loved you so much that I was scared. Never have I ever felt this way about someone. Words can't even begin to describe my extent of love for you, so just shut up!"

"Miley." He breathed, realising his hands from his pockets. Suddenly my heart was telling me what to do. _Nick, Nick, Nick:_ it beat loudly. I ran out into the cold February night's air, the rain hit my bare skin and I gasped. I ran right into his arms where he caught me. My lips crashed roughly against his, but he didn't try to fight back. Suddenly the old 'us' was back. Everything had changed, once again and this time for the better.

The tears fell in sync with each other, just like the beating of our hearts.

**Tweet tweet? /nileylife **

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